I don't know who pissed him off, but Grim Reaper is on a mean tear lately.
First was Dennis Hopper. Then Gary Coleman. Then Rue McClanahan. Now it sounds like John Wooden.
With all that grim business in the air, perhaps it was fitting that the Yankees just played host to two teams whose fanbases kicked the bucket a long time ago.
Seriously though, can you remember the last time teams as putrid as the Indians and Orioles waddled into Yankee Stadium in back-to-back series?
That's actually not fair to the Indians—they managed to win a game with the help of Joba Chamberlain, who had one of his patented, "Man, P.J. Clarke's really doesn't have an over-serve policy!" looks on face last Saturday.
The Orioles may be the worst team I've ever seen. O's manager Dave Trembley finally got canned after New York completed the sweep on Thursday. I was starting to wonder if Trembley had video of a crossdressing Cal Ripken Jr. slinging rock to the teens of Bulletmore, Murderland.
Apparently not. But Detectives Bunk and McNulty will be watching you, Mr. Ripken.
Because of the utter suck that lined the third-base dugout in the past week, it was almost impossible to get a read on the state of the Yankees. From a pure numbers standpoint, they were dominant. New York won six of the seven games, outscoring opponents by a 55-25 margin.
But I've watched high school teams that could beat up on the Kevin Millwood that showed up on Thursday. The man tripped over himself trying to throw a pitch at one point. I had to rewind my DVR to make sure there wasn't a banana peel next to the rubber. The O's are cartoon bad. I think Miguel Tejada was bludgeoned by an anvil at one point.
But back to the Yankees. After seven innings of one-run ball on Tuesday, do we know for sure if Javier Vazquez is back on track? How about CC Sabathia, who allowed two more homers on Thursday but still managed to pick up his first victory in nearly a month? Is Mariano Rivera (2-for-2 in save chances) out of his funk?
Against that caliber of opponent, it's hard to say.
Thankfully, some things I'm more sure about.
If Robbie Cano gets any hotter, he'll burst into flames. He has a MLB-best 17-game hitting streak, and even more impressive, he's hitting 3.038 during that stretch. That's actually a lie. It's .465 (33-for-71), but it seems better than that. You may be looking at the MVP at second base, folks.
Derek Jeter is also on a tear, hiking his average 36 points in his last 11 games (.267 to .303). Still think Nomah is bettah? Alex Rodriguez, Nick Swisher, and Curtis Granderson are also hitting well, covering Mark Teixeira's butt for another week.
The Yankees return to the realm of big league baseball on Friday when they begin a weekend series at SkyDome Rogers Centre against the Blue Jays. It was about this time last season when a surprising start gave way to a tailspin for Cito Gasten's team. Coming off two awful losses to the Rays this week, are the Jays about to freefall again?
On a semi-related note, is this the year when Gasten will finally age like a normal human being? It's like a Madame Tussauds exhibit in that dugout. It's creepy.
Watching the Yankees attempt to build on a winning streak and witnessing a potential brush with the undead/supernatural? Yes, I believe this is worth scrapping your weekend plans for.