Monday, January 31, 2011

Posada shares his thoughts about shifting role, we translate

Is anybody else convinced that Jorge Posada is not-so on board with this full-time DH thing?

Po's been the Yankees' resident lovable curmudgeon for 15 years. He's not exactly the personality type that embraces change. And nothing good can come from change when you're a 39-year-old catcher.

I wouldn't be surprised if Clint Eastwood modeled his character in Gran Torino after the salty Yankees veteran. Walt Kowalski was a gruff, stubborn old man who wouldn't hesitate to shoot you with a rifle if you messed with him or his car. The same probably applies to Posada and his catching position.

(That ringing you hear is Jesus Montero calling Brian Cashman to make sure he's staying in the minors in 2011.)

Posada spoke about the shift to DH for the first time on Sunday night at a Bernie Williams event where I presume the former center fielder busted out some soccer mom-approved guitar licks.

God love him, Po tried so hard to be the good soldier during his brief media chat, but what he said definitely didn't sound like what he meant. Luckily, River & Sunset has the gift for decoding jock speak.

All initial quotes come via the Daily News.

What Georgie said:

“I can’t complain. I always like to catch, I’m used to catching, but if they want me to DH to help out the team, you have to do that. It is what it is. I look forward to everything I do. I try to help out the team, and if that’s going to help out the team and that’s what they want, I’m OK with it.”

What Georgie meant:

"I can't complain. Literally, I can't complain. I'm a 39-year-old professional baseball player. Have you noticed what GMs think of guys my age now? We're dinosaurs staring down a fiery meteor. I'm used to catching, because I'm a man, and men don't DH. Jose Canseco is a DH. Jorge Posada is a man. I'm not OK with it."

What Georgie said:

“I’ll catch. I’ll catch. I’ll catch this year. I’ll DH and then they’re going to want me to catch one of those days. I’m keeping an open mind. I would love to catch. I’m training like I always do, and if I have to catch, I’ll catch.”

What Georgie meant:

"I'll catch. I'll catch. I'll catch this year. If I have to do Girardi's laundry, cook his lunch, pay his orthodontist bill, I'll do it. I'll do anything, you hear me? I'm keeping an open mind, and by "open mind", I mean a closed mind. I'm training like I always do, but that's mostly because I have to stay cut up for Laura, my insanely hot wife. I'll catch. I'll catch. I'll catch. I'll catch. I'll catch."

What Georgie said:

“Derek’s a shortstop and Derek’s not going to move to another position. He hasn’t even started playing this year and you’re talking about four years from now. You can’t see the future.”

What Georgie meant:

"Have you seen Jeter's new house? They're calling it Jetropolis. Well, no they're not, but I am. The place is insane. You can mark my words: If he invites me, I'll never leave. I'll show up with Laura and the kids and we'll just bunker down like Cousin Eddie from the Vacation movies. The place is so big he won't even know we're there. ... (deep sigh) ... But seriously, I don't want to be the DH."

Dan Hanzus writes three columns a week on his New York Yankees site, River & Sunset. He can be reached at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter @danhanzus.

2 comments:

nyyankeefanforever said...

Hi, Dan. In that same article, the Daily News also reported Terry Francona's response to Brian Cashman's comment that the Red Sox are better right now "on paper." In the spirit of your very funny jock-speak decodification above, please allow me the honor:

What Tito said:

"That’s not going to help us win a lot of games. I love Cash, but I don’t think that statement will get us any extra runs or anything. When people say that, it means our ownership and our front office had a really good winter. But once the season starts, now it’s time to go to work.”

What Tito meant:

"WTF? How did the Yankees ever get to be the underdogs? They've still got all the guys who helped them lead MLB in scoring, and all my front-office guys did was replace runs I lost. I was so happy looking like a genius winning the expectations game these last three seasons, and now John Henry and Theo have gone and paid 142 mil to a guy who never hit 20 homers and only once had more than 81 RBIs! They could've gotten me Soriano for a fraction of that and at least our bullpen would've been set. Now, if I'm not leading the division at the All-Star break by at least 10 games I'm gonna have to change my name, move my family to Roxbury and start surfing HotJobs.com! God, how I hate Cash! Yikes!"

Dan Hanzus said...

Ha! Well played! Decoding manager's can be more difficult at times but you nailed it.